You died pulling hair from a ball of hair

Your new best friend Lacey was turning out to be a bit of a bitch, just because you hadn't delivered on the boys, or the alcohol, you were still getting your dad's cabin for the first week of summer, and after all she had said she liked fishing as much as you did. Really that was just an amicable fib. After all this whole sham friendship was just a rebound thing after Lacey went behind Indra's back with Rob and she was exiled from that posse of shallow hearts, but deep down you really wanted to make something out of it. Why wouldn't you? She could tell you how to do your hair right, how to not fill your sadness with pastries, how to make your cleavage look sexy instead of just the unpleasant result of them not making uniforms quite within your size range.

* * *

Lacey barely spoke to you the whole drive up, and when she did it was about any last minute plans to get boys and alcohol. You had told yourself you would say no, but you knew that you were weak and that you would really do anything to be even a little bit popular. Even that kind of popular where you know you're being used and guys are getting your name wrong while telling you how awesome you are but not daring to make eye contact. And if you're really lucky you might have the honor of giving the drunkest one a blow job that's so good he throws up on top of your head. It's OK no one had the gall to tell that one at your funeral. But a few were thinking about it.

When you arrived the weather was nice and you decided it would be the perfect time to sit by the lake with your rod, but you could tell that Lacey wasn't interested and you didn't even ask, and she said something about topless sunbathing if she could get onto the roof and you said sure and she said she wasn't asking your permission. Well then.

* * *

The guy who found the bodies in the lake had actually come back with some beers in the hope of getting a little action from the one with the nice rack he had spotted from his treetop shanty. Along with the beer he had a bag full of homemade roofies which probably would have taken a permanent chunk out of your brain's ability to function, but after stripping you naked he would have decided not to go through with it anyway.

When they pulled you out you were all tangled up in what looked like seaweed. A topless girl in jeans and her much larger friend fully clothed swimming together in the lake became caught up in some underwater plant life which caused them to drown? In the end they just pinned it on the creepy tree guy, whose suspicious lab equipment and crates of vintage "alternative" pornography didn't work in his favour.

* * *

It wasn't seaweed, or algae or anything they'd said. It was more like hair. Lacey was staring up at the sky through her huge sunglasses when something quite suddenly entered her field of vision. It was falling right at her. It landed right beside her. It was like a big ball of tumbleweed and it rolled down the slope of the roof towards her, and as she batted it away it took her hand.

She wasn't screaming because of her mouth being stuffed with all the stuff this thing was made of. In fact the whole thing was very quiet as it rolled through the forest swallowing up all kinds of sticks and leaves and smaller animals and assorted crap, causing the hairy outter layer to expand.

You did catch it in your peripheral sight before it took you. You saw Lacey's blonde hair hanging out the side and in an instant you grabbed onto it before it could make it to the water. As though the hair was no longer under her control, it wrapped itself around your hand and pulled you in. Once inside you crawled into the middle and found Lacey squriming about. You cleared all the crap out of her mouth and pressed your lips over hers, because it wasn't like you were ever going to have another chance to kiss anybody. regardless of whether you'd survived or not. And you wished in those final moments she had shared your sentiments and not bitten you on the tongue, because really this wasn't such a bad way to end things.