You died riding your bike through a plate glass window

So was trying to text your ex girlfriend about her bullshit with the 3 different kinds of conditioner worth it? Also, you forgot to wear a belt and so your pants were down around your ankles and in the chain, and your boss made a joke about how dying with your pants down was so you, and no one particularly knew what he meant by that but didn't hold back an office full of uneasy laughter.

Oh and for the record it was Harris who put the fish food flakes in your coffee that morning so your pissing on Jenoba's copy of Wired was totally uncalled for and it took all of three seconds of the woman who replaced you's semi-unbuttoned blouse to forget about the minute's silence in the coffee room, and fuck a funeral outside of business hours anyway.